Grand Councilwoman: Read the charges. Gantu: Dr. Jumba Jookiba-- lead scientist of Galaxy Defense Industries-- you stand before this council accused of illegal genetic experimentation.
Grand Councilwoman: How do you plead?
Jumba: Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical-- completely within legal boundaries.
Grand Councilwoman: We believe you actually created something.
Jumba: Created something?! Ha! But that would be irresponsible and unethical. I would never, ever… make more than one.
Gantu: What is that monstrosity?
Jumba: Monstrosity! What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. He is bulletproof, fireproof and can think faster than supercomputer. He can see in the dark and move objects three thousand times his size. His only instinct: To destroy everything he touches!
Grand Councilwoman: So, it is a monster.
Jumba: Hey, just a little one.
Gantu: It is an affront to nature. It must be destroyed!
Grand Councilwoman: Calm yourself, Captain Gantu. Perhaps it can be reasoned with. [turns to Stitch] Experiment 626, give us some sign you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.
Stitch: [clears throat] MEEGA NALA KWEESTA!w (I WANT TO DESTROY!)
Audience: [gasps]
[The robot barfs]
Grand Councilwoman: So naughty!
Stitch: [laughs hysterically]
Jumba: I didn't teach him that.
Gantu: Place that idiot scientist under arrest!
Jumba: I prefer to be called evil genius!
Grand Councilwoman: And as for that abomination, it is fiord project of a deranged mind. It has no place among us. Captain Gantu, take him away.
Gantu: With pleasure!
Hammerhead Guard: Hmm.
Gantu: Uncomfortable? Aw… Good! The council has banished you to exile on a desert asteroid. So, relax… enjoy the trip and don’t get any ideas. These guns are locked onto your genetic signature. They won’t shoot anyone but you. Ow! Why, you…!
Cell manager: May I remind the captain that he is on duty.
Gantu: Secure the cell!
Cell manager: Aye, Captain.
Voice: Captain on deck.
Gantu: All ahead full. Do… Does this, uh, look infected to you?
Cell manager: Oh! Quiet, you.
[Stitch growls and spits his spit at something and the guns fire]
Female Alien Pilot: Gunfire in the cell bay!
Gantu: Open a channel. What's going on down there? Lieutenant, respond!
[Stitch growls and spits his spit at the Cell manager and the guns fire]
Female Alien Pilot: He’s loose on Deck C!
Gantu: Red alert. Seal off the deck! Security, converge on door seven! Deadly force authorized. Fire on sight! I repeat: Fire on sight!
Security Alien: There he is! Security to Bridge. It’s in the ventilation system.
Gantu: He’s headed for the power… grid.
Gantu: What was that?
Male Alien Pilot: I don’t think he’s on the ship anymore.
Female Alien Pilot: Confirmed. He’s taken a police cruiser.
Male Alien Pilot: Yeah… he took the red one.
Stitch: Yee-haw! Hmm?
Pursuit Commander: That’s it! We got it. We got it!
Computer: Hyperdrive activated. System charging.
Female Alien Pilot: He’s engaged his H-drive!
Computer: Warning-- guidance is not functional.
Gantu: Pursuit Commander, that crazy trog is about to make a jump!
Pursuit Commander: Break formation! Get clear of that ship!
Computer: Navigation failure. Do not engage hyper…
Gantu: [sighs] Get me Galactic Control.
Grand Councilwoman: Where is he?!
Alien #1: He’s still in hyperspace.
Grand Councilwoman: Where will he exit?
Alien #2: Calculating now-- quadrant section-- area 51. A planet called… Ee-arth.
Grand Councilwoman: I want an expert on this planet in here now! What is that?
Alien #3: Water. Most of the planet is covered in it.
Grand Councilwoman: He won’t survive in water. His molecular density is too great. No… Of course. How much time do we have?
Alien #4: We have projected his landing at three hours, 42 minutes.
Grand Councilwoman: Oh, we have to gas the planet.
[Pleakley, a one-eyed light green alien, enters the scene.]
Agent Pleakley: Hold it! Hold everything! Earth is a protected wildlife preserve. Yeah. We’ve been using it to rebuild the mosquito population which, need I remind you, is an endangered species!
Grand Councilwoman: Am I to assume you are the expert?
Agent Pleakley: Oh, I don’t know about expert. Agent Pleakley at your service.
Grand Councilwoman: Can we not simply destroy the island?
Agent Pleakley: No! Crazyhead! The mosquito’s food of choice, primitive humanoid life forms, have colonies all over that planet.
Grand Councilwoman: Are they intelligent?
Agent Pleakley: No, but they’re very delicate. In fact, every time an asteroid strikes their planet they have to begin life all over. It’s fascinating, isn’t it? With this, I’ve been able to study…
Grand Councilwoman: What if our military forces just landed there?
Agent Pleakley: Well, that’d be a bad idea! These are extremely simple creatures, miss. Landing there would create mass mayhem and planet-wide panic!
Grand Councilwoman: A quiet capture would require an understanding of 6-2-6 that we do not possess! Who, then, Mr. Pleakley, would you send for his extraction?
Agent Pleakley: Does he have a brother? Close grandmother, perhaps? Friendly cousin? Neighbor with a beard?
[A newspaper titled "IDIOT SCIENTIST JAILED!!!" is seen. A furious Jumba tears up the newspaper and eats most of it. The Grand Councilwoman and Pleakley enter Jumba's cell.]
Jumba: He got away?
Grand Councilwoman: I’m sure this comes as no surprise to you.
Jumba: I designed this creature for to be unstoppable.
Grand Councilwoman: Which is precisely why you must now bring him back.
Jumba: What? Me?
Grand Councilwoman: And to reward you, we are willing to trade your freedom for his capture.
Jumba: 6-2-6 will not come easily. Maybe direct hit from plasma cannon might stun him long enough to…
Grand Councilwoman: Plasma cannon granted. Do we have a bargain, Dr. Jumba?
Agent Pleakley: B-B-But it’s a delicate planet! [singsong] Who’s going to control him?
Grand Councilwoman: You will.
Pleakley: Very good, Your Highness. I… I didn’t quite… Uh, you’re not joking!
Jumba: So, tell me, my little one-eyed one on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my monstrosity been unleashed?
Mahalo nui ia Ke Ali iwahine O Lili ulani O ka Wohi ku Ka pipio mai o ke anuenue Na waihooluu a halikeole E nana na maka i ke ao malama Mai Hawaii akea i Kauai… O Kal’kaua he inoa O Ka pua mae ole i ka I’ Ka pua maila i ka mauna I ke kuahiwi o Mauna Kea Ke ‘maila i K’lauea M’lamalama i Wahinekapu A ka luna o Uw’kahuna I ka pali kapu o Ka auea Ea mai ke ali i kia manu Ua wehi i ka hulu o ka mamo Ka pua nani a o Hawai i O Kal’kaua he inoa O Kal’kaua he inoa Ka pua mae ole i ka I’ Ka pua maila i ka mauna I ke kuahiwi o Mauna Kea Ke ‘maila i K’lauea…
Hula Teacher: One, two, three, four.
…M’lamalama i Wahinekapu…
Hula Teacher: Ay-yi-yi.
…A ka luna o Uw’kahuna I ka pali kapu o Ka auea Mahalo nui ia Ke Ali iwahine O Lili ulani O ka Wohi ku… Ea mai ke ali i kia manu Ua wehi i ka hulu o ka mamo Ka pua nani a o Hawai I O Kal’kaua he inoa… He Inoa No Kalani Kalakaua Kulele.
Mertle: Whoa! Whoa!
[After Lilo shows up to hula dance class late, soaking wet, Mertle, Elena, Teresa and Yuki slip in the puddles.]
Hula Teacher: Stop, stop. Lilo, why are you all wet?
Lilo: It's sandwich day.
[the hula teacher looks confused]
Lilo: [sighs] Every Thursday, I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.
Hula Teacher: [still confused] Pudge is a fish...?
Lilo: [continues] And today we were out of peanut butter! So I asked my sister what to give him, and she said a tuna sandwich! I can't give Pudge tuna! [Whispers] Do you know what tuna is?
Hula Teacher: Fish?
Lilo: It's FISH!! If I gave pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store, and get peanut butter, 'cause all we have...is... [jumping angrily] IS STINKIN' TUNA!!!!!!
Hula Teacher: Lilo, Lilo. Why is this so important?
Lilo: [seriously] Pudge controls the weather.
[Everyone exchanges puzzled looks]
Mertle: You're crazy.
[Lilo angrily attacks her; the other girls gather around the hula teacher as he picks up Lilo.]
Hula Teacher: PLEASE! PLEASE! EVERYBODY CALM DOWN!
[Mertle cries]
Hula Teacher: Girls... (speaking Hawaiian) Shh. Lilo...
Lilo: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hula Teacher: Maybe we should call your sister.
Lilo: No! I'll be good! I want to dance. I practiced. I just want to dance. I practiced.
[Pause]
Mertle: Ooh, she bit me.
Elena, Teresa and Yuki: Ewwwwwww!
Hula Teacher: I called your sister. She said to wait for her here on the porch. We’ll try again on Sunday.
Mertle: Does this look infected to you?
Elena, Teresa and Yuki: Yeah.
Mertle: You better not have rabies. If you have rabies the dogcatcher is going to have to cut…
Lilo: Are you going to play dolls?
Mertle: You don’t have a doll.
Lilo: This is Scrump. I made her, but her head is too big. So I pretend a bug laid eggs in her ears, and she’s upset because she only has a few more days to…
Nani: Lilo! Lilo? Lilo? Oh, no. You better be home. Hey! Watch where you’re going! Stupidhead!
Since my baby left me I found a new place to dwell…
Nani: Oh, Lilo! Lilo! Open the door, Lilo!
Lilo: Go away.
…You make me so lonely, baby…
Nani: Lilo? We don’t have time for this.
…I get so lonely…
Lilo: Leave me alone to die.
Nani: Come on, Lilo that social worker’s going to be here any minute!
…You still can find some room For brokenhearted lovers to cry away their gloom Don’t make me so lonely, baby Don’t make me so lonely I get so lonely I could die… The bellhop’s tears keep flowin’…
Nani: You are so finished when I get in there!
Well, they been so long on Lonely Street They ain’t ever gonna look back…
Nani: Oh, I’m going to stuff you in the blender push puree, then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker! And when he says, Mmm, this is great. What’s your secret? I’m going to say… Love… and nurturing. Hi. Uh… You must be the, uh…
Cobra Bubbles: The stupidhead.
Nani: Oh! Oh… Oh, you know, I’m really sorry about that and if I’d known who you were, of course I never would’ve… Uh… I can pay for that.
Cobra Bubbles: It’s a rental. Are you the guardian in question?
Nani: Yes. I’m Nani. Nice to meet you, Mister…?
Cobra Bubbles: Bubbles.
Nani: Mr. Bubbles. That’s a strange…
Cobra Bubbles: Yes, I know. Are you going to invite me in, Nani?
Nani: Uh… I thought we could sit out here and talk.
Cobra Bubbles: I don’t think so.
Nani: Right. Uh… This way.
…You still can find some room For brokenhearted lovers to cry away their gloom You make me so lonely, baby…
Nani: Uh… wait here.
Lilo: Hey!
Nani: So… lemonade?
Cobra Bubbles: Do you often leave your sister home alone?
Nani: No. Never. Well, except for just now. Uh, I had to run to the store to get some… Oh!
Cobra Bubbles: You left the stove on while you were out?
Nani: Low heat! Just a simmer. Mmm! It’s coming along great.
Lilo: I found that this morning.
Nani: Lilo! There you are. Honeyface… this is Mr. Bubbles.
Cobra Bubbles: [reaching down to shake hands with Lilo] Nice to meet you.
Lilo: [tilting her head as if to read something] Your knuckles say "Cobra." [Cobra Bubbles withdraws his hand, his knuckles crack] "Cobra Bubbles." You don’t look like a social worker.
Cobra Bubbles: I’m a special classification.
Lilo: Did you ever kill anyone?
Cobra Bubbles: [frowning] We’re getting off the subject. Today let's talk about you. Are you...happy?
Lilo: [opens her mouth wide to show a fake smile, sounding slightly bored, speaking in response to Nani’s pantomiming behind Cobra] I’m adjusted. I eat four food groups and look both ways when crossing the street. And take long naps... [Nani clenches a fist in a "Doing well" sign] and get disciplined?
[Nani cringes]
Cobra Bubbles: Disciplined?
[Lilo continues, with Nani silently getting more and more frantic.]
Lilo: Yeah, she disciplines me real good. Sometimes five times a day. [Nani places her head in her hands in despair] With bricks. [Nani looks up in horror]
Cobra Bubbles: Bricks?
Lilo: Uh-huh. In a pillowcase.
Nani: [clamps her hand over Lilo's mouth] OKAY! That's enough sugar for you! [pushes Lilo in the direction out of the room and speaks through her clenched teeth] Why dontcha run along, ya little cutie? [nervously laughs, looking at Cobra Bubbles] The other social workers just thought she was a scream... Thirsty? [walks to the fridge awkwardly]
Cobra Bubbles: Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. [closes the fridge door] I am the one they call when things go wrong and things have indeed gone wrong.
Lilo: My friends need to be punished.
Cobra Bubbles: Call me next time you’re left here alone.
Lilo: Yep.
Cobra Bubbles: In case you’re wondering, this did not go well. You have three days to change my mind.
Lilo: Blah.
Nani: Eww! Lilo!
Nani: Why didn't you wait at the school?! You were supposed to wait there! [Lilo struggles to break free] LILO! Do you not understand? Do you want to be taken away? [pause] ANSWER ME!
Lilo: NO!
Nani: NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND?!
Lilo: NO!
Nani: "NO", WHAT?
Lilo: NOOOOO! [drops to the floor and moans]
Nani: [turns red in anger] UGH! YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN.
Lilo: SO WHY DON'T YOU SELL ME AND BUY A RABBIT INSTEAD?!!
Nani: AT LEAST A RABBIT WOULD BEHAVE BETTER THAN YOU!!
Lilo: GO AHEAD!! THEN YOU'LL BE HAPPY!! BECAUSE IT'LL BE SMARTER THAN ME, TOO!!!
Nani: AND QUIETER!!!!
Lilo: YOU'LL LIKE IT, 'CAUSE IT'S STINKY LIKE YOU!!!!! [enters her bedroom and angrily shuts the door]
Nani: [furiously] GO TO YOUR ROOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
Lilo: [furiously opens door] I'M ALREADY IN MY ROOM!!!!!! [angrily shuts the door again]
[Each sister angrily picks up a pillow and screams into it]
Nani: Hey. I brought you some pizza, in case you were hungry.
Lilo: We’re a broken family, aren’t we?
Nani: No. Maybe, a little. Maybe a lot. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.
Lilo: We’re sisters. It’s our job.
Nani: Yeah, well, from now on…
Lilo: I like you better as a sister than a mom.
Nani: Yeah?
Lilo: And you like me better as a sister than a rabbit, right?
Nani: Oh… Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yes. Yes, I do.
Lilo: [sniffles] I hit Mertle Edmonds today.
Nani: You hit her?
Lilo: Before I bit her.
Nani: You bit her. Lilo, you shouldn’t…
Lilo: People treat me different.
Nani: They just don’t know what to say. I’ll tell you what. If you promise not to fight anymore I promise not to yell at you, except on special occasions.
Lilo: Tuesdays and bank holidays would be good.
Nani: Yeah? Would that be good?
Lilo: Oh! My camera’s full again. Aren’t they beautiful? A falling star! I call it! Get out! Get out! I have to make a wish!
Lilo: [trying to push Nani out of her room] Can't you go any faster?!
Nani: [leaning back] Oh, no! Gravity is increasing on me!
Lilo: No, it's not!
Nani: Is too, Lilo. The same thing happened yesterday. [Accidentally falls on top of Lilo]
Lilo: YOU ROTTEN SISTER, YOUR BUTT IS CRUSHING ME! Why do you act so weird?! [angrily shuts the door]
Lilo: It's me again. I need someone to be my friend... someone who won't run away. Maybe send me an angel... the nicest angel you have.
Man: What we when hit?
Man #2: There it is. It stay jammed under the fender.
Man #3: We better call somebody.
[Nani and Lilo are at an animal shelter looking for a pet dog.]
Nani: [to shelter worker] We're looking for something that can defend itself... something that won't die, something... sturdy, you know?
Lilo: Like a lobster!
Nani: Lilo, you lolo. Do we have a lobster door? No, we have a dog door! We are getting a dog!
Jumba: So nice to see your pretty face again!
Stitch: Jumba?
Shelter Worker: We need your name and address at the bottom of the form… The kennel’s back this way.
Nani: Go. Pick someone out.
Lilo: Hello? Hello?! Are there any animals in here? Hello! Hi.
Stitch: Hoh… ha… Hi…
Lilo: Wow!
[Lilo comes back to the lobby with Stitch]
Shelter Worker: Oh, yes, all our dogs are adoptable... [jumps, startled] EXCEPT THAT ONE! [runs and takes Stitch away from Lilo as Nani pulls Lilo away from Stitch]
Nani: What is that thing?
Shelter Worker: A dog...I think, but it was dead this morning.
Nani: It was dead this morning?!
Shelter Worker: Well, we thought it was dead; it was hit by a truck!
Lilo: I like him! Come here, boy.
[Stitch forcefully, against the shelter worker's grip, walks himself forward to get to Lilo as she called him to her, climbing up onto Nani and Lilo's laps]
Nani: [screams and pushes Stitch away from her and Lilo; she composes herself and asks] Wouldn't you like a different dog?
Shelter Worker: [a bit breathless] We have better dogs, dear.
Lilo: Not better than him! He can talk. Say hello.
Stitch: He... Hel...
Shelter Worker: Dogs can't talk, dear.
Stitch: [narrows his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration]
Lilo: He did.
Nani: Does it have to be this dog?
Stitch: [pants a few times before lolling his tongue out, sticking it up his nose and pulling out a big green booger, eating it, smacking his lips]
Lilo: Yes. He's good. I can tell.
Shelter Worker: [filling out paperwork at the front desk] You'll have to think of a name for him.
Lilo: His name is... Stitch.
Shelter Worker: That's not a real name. [Nani shakes her head quickly and waves her hand as if saying 'No! Don't say that!'] ...in...Iceland. But here it's a good name. Stitch, it is. And there's a $2.00 license fee.
Lilo: I want to buy him! [whispers] Can I borrow $2?
Nani: [with a semi-irritated look, Nani takes the money from the shelter worker and hands it to Lilo. Lilo then taps the money on her shoulder and hands it back to her, handing it to the shelter worker]
Shelter Worker: [stamps the adoption papers and hands the paper to Lilo with a friendly smile] He's all yours.
Jumba: You’re all mine.
Pleakley: Well, what’s he doing?
Jumba: Shh! Keep quiet. He’s listening for us.
Pleakley: How good is his hearing? I mean, can he…
Jumba: Why don’t you run?
Lilo: Coming! I’m coming!
Pleakley: Stop! I have just determined this situation to be far too hazardous!
Jumba: Don’t worry, I won’t hit her.
Pleakley: No! That girl is a part of the mosquito food chain. Here! Educate yourself.
Jumba: Using a little girl for a shield. THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Stitch: Whoo-hoo!
Jumba: Bah! Tear him apart with all both my bare hands!
Pleakley: Have you lost your mind?!
Lilo: What is it, Stitch?
Pleakley: We cannot be seen!
Shelter Worker: Bad dog, barking at nothing!
Pleakley: You can’t shoot, and you can’t be seen. Look at you! You look like a monster. We have to blend in.
Nani: Okay, I got to get to work. Stick around town and stay out of the roads, okay? I’ll meet you at 1:00.
Stitch: Hmm? Oh! Ah!
Nani: Okay, I guess we should be going.
Lilo: What about Stitch?
Lilo: My friends!
[Mertle and her friends run away from Lilo]
Mertle: What do you want?
Lilo: I'm sorry I bit you and pulled your hairband punched you in the face.
Mertle: Apology not accepted. Now get out of my way before I run you over. [startles]
Lilo: I got a new dog. His name is Stitch.
Mertle: That is the ugliest thing I have ever saw.
Kids: Yeeeeeah!
Mertle: Eww! Get it away from me! I'm gonna get a disease! [Stitch takes a bicycle from Mertle] Somebody do something!
Pleakley: Oh, great! He’s loose.
Jumba: His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he will back up sewers reverse street signs and steal everyone’s left shoe.
Lilo: It’s nice to live on an island with no large cities. Are you okay?
Doo-doo… Doo-doo… You can shake an apple off an apple tree Shake-a, shake-a, sugar, but you’ll never shake me -Uh-uh-uh -Doo-doo-doo No, siree, uh-uh…
Nani: Uh-uh.
…Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo I’m gonna stick like glue Stick because I’m… Stuck on you I’m gonna run my fingers Through your long, black hair…
Surfer: Hey, over here, little buddy.
…Squeeze you tighter than a grizzly bear -Uh-uh-uh -Doo-doo-doo Yes, siree, uh-huh Doo-doo-doo, Doo-doo-doo I’m gonna stick like glue Stick because I’m… Stuck on you Hide in the kitchen Hide in the hall Ain’t gonna do you no good at all ‘Cause once I catch ya and the kissin’ starts A team o’ wild horses couldn’t tear us apart Try to take a tiger from his daddy’s side…
Jumba: When you’re ready to give up just let us know, heh?
Lilo: Whee!
David: YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lilo: This is you. This is your badness level. It’s unusually high for someone your size. We have to fix that.
Nani: Ay-yi-yi, Lilo! Your dog cannot sit at the table.
Lilo: Stitch is troubled. He needs desserts.
Nani: Oh, you didn’t even eat your sweet potato. I thought you liked them.
Lilo: Desserts! David! I got a new dog.
David: Oh! You sure it’s a dog?
Lilo: Uh-huh. He used to be a collie before he got ran over. Yum! Hey…
Stitch: Blah!
Lilo: Eww!
David: Howzit, Nani?
Nani: Did you catch fire again?
David: Nah, just the stage. Listen, I was wondering if you’re not doing anything this…
Nani: David, I told you, I can’t. I… I got a lot to deal with right now.
David: I know. I just figured you might need some time…
Nani: You smell like a lawn mower. Look, I got to go. The kid at table three’s throwing poi again. Maybe some other time, okay?
Lilo: Don’t worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.
David: She thinks it’s fancy?
Stitch: Blech! Oh! Mmm!
Jumba: Aha! Look what I find! Get restraints!
Pleakley: Right.
Jumba: Ow! Take that! Hurry!
Pleakley: Uh, hold still just a… Aah!
Boss: Hey, Nani! Is that your dog?
Nani: Uh…
Pleakley: All is well. Please, go about your business. I’m okay.
Nani: Oh, your head looks swollen.
Jumba: Actually, she’s just ugly.
Pleakley: Darling… He’s joking. Ugly-- look at me…
Boss: Uh, this is not working out.
Nani: Uh, b-but… Mm-mm. Yeah? Well, who wants to work at this stupid… fakey luau anyway. Come on, Lilo.
Lilo: Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?
Nani: Nah. The manager’s a vampire and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.
Lilo: I knew it. This is a great home. You’ll like it a lot. See?
Nani: Uh, Lilo…
Lilo: Comfy. Hey!
Nani: Hey! What is the matter with you?!
Lilo: Be careful of the little angel!
Nani: It’s not an angel, Lilo. I don’t even think it’s a dog. We just have to take him back.
Lilo: He’s just cranky because it’s his bedtime.
Nani: He’s creepy, Lilo. I won’t sleep while he’s loose in the house.
Lilo: You’re loose in the house all the time and I sleep just fine! Hey, what are you doing? Stop that, Stitch!
Nani: Hey! Look at him, Lilo. He’s obviously mutated from something else. We have to take him back.
Lilo: He was an orphan and we adopted him! What about O’hana?
Nani: He hasn’t been here that long.
Lilo: Neither have I. Dad said O’hana means family. Huh? O’hana means family. Family means…
Nani: …nobody gets left behind.
Lilo: Or…?
Nani: Or forgotten. I know. I know. I hate it when you use O’hana against me. Mmm. Lilo: Don’t worry, you can sleep right next to me.
[An exhausted Nani lays on the sofa.]
Lilo: Look how curious the puppy is. This is my room, and this is your bed. This is your dolly and bottle. See? Doesn’t spill. I filled it with coffee. Good puppy. Now get into bed. Hey! That’s mine! Down! Mmm! Be careful of that! You don’t touch this! Don’t ever touch it! No! Don’t pull on her head! She’s recovering from surgery. No! That’s from my blue period.
Stitch: Mmm…
Lilo: There. You know, you wreck everything you touch. Why not try and make something for a change?
[Stitch Humming]
Stitch: Ah!
Lilo: Wow. San Francisco.
[Stitch puts the lamp in places and removed the lampshade. Stitch pretends like he is a monster going on a destructive rampage. He jumps onto the bridge and grabs a toy car]
Stitch: Save me! [roars] Eek!
[Stitch gnaws on the toy car and continues as Lilo watches]
Lilo: No more caffeine for you.
Jumba: This little girl is wasting her time. 6-2-6 cannot be taught to ignore its destructive programming. Ooh! Push that over. What are you doing?
Pleakley: Nothing!
Jumba: Uh, say, I want to try it on.
Pleakley: No!
Jumba: Share! Let me try it!
Pleakley: Hey! Ow! You’re just jealous ‘cause I’m pretty! Don’t move. A mosquito has chosen me as her perch. She’s so beautiful. Look, another one. And another one! Why, it’s a whole flock. And they like me! They’re nuzzling my flesh with their noses. Now they’re, um, they’re….
Nani: I think it might be a koala. An evil koala. I can’t even pet it. It keeps staring at me, like it’s going to eat me.
David (on phone): Hello? Nani? Hello? Are you there?
Jumba: Now, this is interesting.
Pleakley: What?
Jumba: 6-2-6 was designed to be a monster but now he has nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like to have nothing… not even memories to visit in the middle of the night?
Stitch: Nah! Hmm. Hmm…
Lilo: That’s the Ugly Duckling. See? He’s sad because he’s all alone and nobody wants him but on this page, his family hears him crying and they find him. Then the Ugly Duckling is happy because he knows where he belongs.
Stitch: Hmm…
Lilo: Want to listen to the King? You look like an Elvis fan. Nani. Nani!
Nani: Uh… yeah?
Lilo: Look.
[Record Player)
We can’t go on together With suspicious minds… …cious minds… …can build our dreams… …On suspicious minds…
Cobra Bubbles: Heard you lost your job.
Nani: Well, uh, actually, I just quit that job because, you know, the hours are just not conducive to the challenges of raising a child…
Cobra Bubbles: Hey!
Nani: I am so sorry about that.
Cobra Bubbles: What is that thing?
Lilo: That’s my puppy.
Cobra Bubbles: Really? Thus far, you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience but I cannot ignore you being jobless. Do I make myself clear?
Nani: Perfectly.
Cobra Bubbles: And next time I see this dog, I expect it to be a model citizen… capisce?
Lilo: Uh… yes?
Cobra Bubbles: New job. Model citizen. Good day.
Elvis: (voice) You look like an angel…
Nani: Mrs. Hasagawa? I’m here to answer your newspaper ad.
Lilo: Elvis Presley was a model citizen. I’ve compiled a list of his traits for you to practice. Number one is dancing.
Mrs. Hasagawa: I can’t talk now, dear. I’m waiting for someone to answer my ad.
Nani: That’s why I’m here.
Lilo: Hands on your hips. Now follow my lead.
Stitch: Ooh-hoo.
…You fooled me with your kisses…
Mrs. Hasagawa: Ah! That’s my want ad.
Nani: I know!
…Heaven knows how you lied to me You’re not the way…
Mrs. Hasagawa: Whoa, whoa! Why is everything so dark?
Nani: I am all about coffee.
Lilo: Let’s move on to step two. Elvis played guitar. Here. Hold it like this, and put your fingers here. See? Now you try.
Nani: …and I make great cappuccinos and lattes with…
Coffee Manager: I wish I could, Nani, but I just hired Teddy and with tourist season ending…
Concierge-er-ing is my life. …You look like an angel…
Nani: I just love to answer phones…
Lilo: This is the face of romance. She looks like she could use some lovin’.
…Talk like an angel, but I got wise…
Hotel Manager: Oh, we might have something.
Lilo: Good. Now kiss her.
…The devil in disguise…
Lilo: I’m sure Elvis had his bad days, too.
Nani: I’m all about saving people?
Lifeguard: Actually, I do think we have an opening.
Nani: Really?
Lilo: Okay, this is it. Time to bring it all together.
Nani: Oh, that’d be so great! You have no idea how badly I need this job.
…The devil in your eyes You’re the devil in disguise…
Lilo: It’s all you! Knock ‘em dead!
…The devil in disguise You’re the devil in disguise…
Lilo: Don’t crowd him!
…Oh, yes, you are The devil in disguise… The devil in disguise, oh, yes…
Teenage Boy: Hey, knock it off!
David: Hey, Lilo! Howzit… Nani?
Lilo: We’ve been having a bad day.
David: Hmm… Hey, I might not be a doctor, but I know that there’s no better cure for a sour face than a couple of boards and some choice waves. What you think?
Nani: I think that’s a great idea.
Aloha e, aloha e -Aloha e, aloha e -’Ano’ai ke aloha e -’Ano’ai ke aloha e -Aloha e, aloha e -Aloha e, aloha e ‘Ano’ai ke aloha e ‘Ano’ai ke aloha e… There’s no place I’d rather be Than on my surfboard out at sea Lingering in the ocean blue And if I had one wish come true I’d surf till the sun sets beyond the horizon Awikiwiki, mai lohilohi Lawe mai i ko papa he’e nalu Flying by on a Hawaiian roller coaster ride Awikiwiki, mai lohilohi Lawe mai i ko papa he’e nalu Pi’i na nalu, la lahalaha O ka moana, hanupanupa -Lalala i ka la hanahana -Whoo! -Me ke kai hoene i ka pu’e one -Whoo! Yeah! Helehele mai kakou e Hawaiian roller coaster ride There’s no place I’d rather be Than on a seashore dry, wet free On golden sand is where I’d lay And if I only had my way I’d play till the sun sets beyond the horizon Lalala i ka la hanahana Me ke kai hoene i ka pu’e one It’s time to try the Hawaiian roller coaster ride Hang loose, hang ten, howzit, shake a shaka No worry, no fear, ain’t no biggy, brahda Cuttin’ in, cuttin’ up, cuttin’ back, cuttin’ out Front side, back side, goofy-footed, wipe out Let’s getjumpin’, surf’s up and pumpin’ Coastin’ with the motion of the ocean Whirlpools swirling, cascading, twirling Hawaiian roller coaster ride…
Pleakley: Oh, can’t complain, Mom. I’m camping out with a convicted criminal and, uh… oh, I had my head chewed on by a monster!
Jumba: Wait… something is not right. 6-2-6 is returning willingly to water.
Pleakley: Oh, hold on, Mom-- another call.
Grand Councilwoman: Mr. Pleakley, you are overdue. I want a status report.
Pleakley: Oh, uh, things are going well.
Jumba: He cannot swim!
Pleakley: Things are going well. Jumba, aren’t they going well?
Jumba: Why will he risk drowning?
Pleakley: Jumba? Jumba, help me out here.
Grand Councilwoman: I would have expected you back by now, with 6-2-6 in hand.
Pleakley: Just a few things left to pack and, uh, we’ll be…
Jumba: Hang up. We are going swimming.
Pleakley: Huh?
There’s no place I’d rather be Than on my surfboard out at sea Lingering in the ocean blue And if I had one wish come true I’d surf till the sun sets beyond the horizon Awikiwiki, mai lohilohi Lawe mai i ko papa he’e nalu Flying by On a Hawaiian roller coaster ride Awikiwiki, mai lohilohi Lawe mai i ko papa he’e nalu Pi’i na nalu, la lahalaha O ka moana, hanupanupa Lalala i ka la hanahana -Me ke kai hoene i ka pu’e one -Yeah! Helehele mai kakou e Hawaiian roller coaster ride.
Nani: Lilo!
Lilo: What happened?
Nani: Oh… some lolo must have stuffed us in the barrel.
Lilo: Where’s Stitch?
Nani: Get off of her!
David: What happened?
Nani: Stitch dragged her down.
Lilo: We lost Stitch!
Nani: Lilo? Lilo, look at me. Look at me, baby. Are you hurt?
Lilo: No.
David: He’s unconscious, but I think he’s alive.
Nani: David, take Lilo. [Nani runs up to Cobra] This isn’t what it looks like. We were… It-It’s just that…
Cobra Bubbles: I know you’re trying, Nani but you need to think about what’s best for Lilo… even if it removes you from the picture. I’ll be back tomorrow morning for Lilo. I’m sorry.
David: Nani? Is there something I can do?
Nani: No, David. Uh, I need to take Lilo home now. We have a lot to talk about, Lilo. Thanks.
David: You know, I really believed they had a chance. Then you came along.
Nani: Lilo, honey… we have to, uh…
Lilo: Don’t worry. You’re nice, and someone will give you a job. I would.
Nani: Come here. Aloha Oe, Aloha Oe E ke onaona noho i ka lipo One fond embrace, a ho’i a’e au Until we meet again.
Lilo: That’s us before… It was rainy, and they went for a drive. What happened to yours? I hear you cry at night. Do you dream about them? I know that’s why you wreck things and push me. Our family’s little now and we don’t have many toys but if you want, you could be part of it. You could be our baby and we’d raise you to be good. O’hana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind but if you want to leave, you can. I’ll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves.
Stitch: L… L… Lost. I’m lost.
Pleakley: Help! I don’t like the ocean! Oh, look, a friendly little dolphin. They helped sailors in the war… It’s a shark! It’s a shark, and it ain’t friendly! It looks like a dolphin. Tricky fish! Tricky fish! Oh, octopus, come and help me? An octo… octopus is worse than a shark! I hate this planet!
Jumba: Oh… little monster!
Pleakley: Uh, Agent Pleakley here.
Grand Councilwoman: I have lost patience with you both. Have you captured 6-2-6 or not?
Pleakley: Um… Uh-uh…
Grand Councilwoman: Consider yourselves fired and prisonbound. Your incompetence is nothing short of unspeakable!
Pleakley: But, uh… mm…
Jumba: We’re fired! Now we do it my way!
Pleakley: Your way? Oh… uh, wait!
Grand Councilwoman: It seems I have overestimated Jumber and Blinkley.
Gantu: Uh, Jumba and Pleakley.
Grand Councilwoman: Whatever. The mission is in jeopardy. This could be your chance to redeem yourself, Captain Gantu. How soon will you be prepared to leave?
Gantu: Immediately.
Jumba: Don’t run. Don’t make me shoot you. You were expensive. Yes. Yes, that’s it. Come quietly.
Stitch: Mm… waiting.
Jumba: For what?
Stitch: Family.
Jumba: Ah! You don’t have one. I made you.
Stitch: Oh… maybe I could…
Jumba: You’re built to destroy. You can never belong. Now come quietly and we will take you apart. No, no, no, no, don’t, don’t run! Don’t run!
Nani: Lilo. I didn’t hear you get up. Baby, what’s wrong?
Lilo: Stitch left.
Nani: Really?
Lilo: It’s good he’s gone. He didn’t want to be here, anyway. We don’t need him.
Nani: Lilo… sometimes you try your hardest but things don’t work out the way you want them to. Sometimes things have to change and maybe sometimes they’re for the better… even if…
David: Nani!
Nani: David!
David: I think I found you a job.
Nani: You what?!
David: Old man Kukhkini’s store, but we got to hurry.
Nani: Oh, um, okay. Lilo? Baby, this is really important. I need you to stay here for a few minutes. I’m going to be right back. Lock the door and don’t answer it for anyone, okay? Things are finally turning around. Aw, David, I owe you one.
David: That’s okay. You can just date me, and we’ll call it even.
Jumba: Come back here, you little…!
Lilo: Stitch? What is it?
Stitch: Shh!
Jumba: Oh, hiding behind your little friend won’t work anymore. Didn’t I tell you? We got fired this morning. New rules.
Stitch: Ha!
Jumba: Ooh.
Stitch: Oh, ooh! Ow! Ow! Ow!
You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog…
Lilo: What are we going to do?
…Cryin’ all the time…
Jumba: Ooh! I love this song!
Lilo: Pliers. Screwdriver.
Stitch: Check.
Jumba: Come out, my friend from whomever you’re hiding behind.
…Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit And you ain’t no friend of mine…
Jumba: What the…? Ooh! Come on! What’s the big deal?
Stitch: [in alien language] Oongatish mista!
Jumba: I'll put you back together again... I'll make you taller, and not so fluffy!
Stitch: I like fluffy!
Pleakley: No… No… NO!!!
Jumba: Oh, leave my mother out of this! You could do with a makeover. I tried to give you my good looks but let’s face it, something went wrong.
Lilo: No! Quick! Follow me! If we make it to…
Pleakley: You’re alive!
Lilo: They’re all over the place!
Jumba: Running away? Here… (Jumba uses a swiss army knife that was bathroom items on it and throws it at both Lilo and Stitch.) let me stop you. (Pleakley opens the door and yells as he closes it as Jumba's swiss army knife breaks through the door.) You always get in the way!
Pleakley: Where’s the girl? What have you done to the girl?
Lilo: Hello? Cobra Bubbles? Aliens are attacking my house.
Pleakley: No, no, no! No aliens!
Stitch: Blue punch buggy! No punch back.
Lilo: They want my dog!
Pleakley: There’s no need to alert the authorities. Everything’s under control.
Cobra Bubbles: Lilo, who was that?
Lilo: Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw.
Cobra Bubbles: Lilo! Don’t hang…!
[Stitch is on the car holding the chainsaw. He jumps off the hood and then, Jumba throws a toilet plunger and it hit Stitch and he is flung to the kitchen with a plunger of his head]
Stitch: Ha!
[Stitch grabs Jumba's plasma gun, but Jumba plugs it with a carrot]
Jumba: You shouldn't play with guns.
Stitch: [giving it to him] Oh, okay.
Jumba: Thank you. [hears the gun beeping, realizes it is about to overload and throws it back to Stitch] Oh, uh, I just remembered - it's your birthday! Happy birthday!
Stitch: [throwing it to him] Err, Merry Christmas!
Jumba: [throwing it to him] It's not Christmas!
Stitch: [throwing it to him] Happy Hanukah!
[as Jumba and Stitch play hot potato with the overloading gun, Pleakley grabs Lilo and runs out of the house] Lilo: We're leaving Stitch?!
Jumba: [in background, overlapped by Lilo] It's not Hanukah!
Pleakley: Trust me, this is not gonna end well!
[back to Jumba and Stitch]
Jumba: One potato!
Stitch: Two potato!
Jumba: Three potato!
Stitch: Four!
Jumba: Five potato!
Stitch: Six potato!
Jumba: Seven potato, more!
Stitch: MY...
Jumba: MOTHER...
Stitch: TOLD...
Jumba: ME...
Stitch: YOU...
Jumba: ARE...
Stitch: It.
Jumba: HA! I win!
[the gun explodes; destroying Lilo's house, Pleakley let’s Lilo go being hit by a broken sink and sends him flying as Lilo watches in horror at her house]
Nani: Thanks. Mahalo plenty. You won’t be disappointed. I’ll show up early to help with the morning deliver… (a firetruck drives down the street as Nani worries that it would turn left) Oh, don’t turn left. (the firetruck turns left heading towards Nani's house much to her worries) No.
Lilo: One of them had a giant eye in the middle of his face.
Nani: Oh, Lilo! Please don’t do this.
Cobra Bubbles: You know I have no choice.
Nani: No! You’re not taking her! I’m the only one who understands her! You take that away, she won’t stand a chance!
Cobra Bubbles: You’re making this harder than it needs to be.
Nani: But you don’t know what you’re doing! She needs me!
Cobra Bubbles: Is this what she needs?! It seems clear to me that you need her a lot more than she needs you.
[A saddened Lilo exits Cobra's car and runs away into the forest. Cobra discovers that Lilo is gone.]
Cobra Bubbles: Lilo! Lilo!
Nani: (voice) Lilo!
Cobra Bubbles: (voice) Lilo!
Nani: (voice) Lilo! Lilo! Lilo!
(Stitch then hands Lilo her photo of her family and she gives him an angry face as he reveals his true form).
Lilo: You ruined everything. You’re one of them?
Stitch: Ooh!
Lilo: Get out of here, Stitch.
Gantu: Surprise! And here I thought you’d be difficult to catch. Ho-ho-ho. Silly me.
Nani: Lilo? Lilo!
Gantu: There you go, all buckled up for the trip. And look-- I even caught you a little snack.
Nani: No! Stop! Lilo.
Stitch: Aah!
Nani: Okay, talk. I know you had something to do with this. Now where is Lilo? Talk! I know you can.
Stitch: Okay, okay.
[Nani freaks out and hits Stitch with a tree branch.]
Nani: Where’s Lilo?
Stitch: Lilo…
[Suddenly, a plasma shot stunned Stitch. Jumba captures him.]
Jumba: Aha! Now, all your washing is up!
Pleakley: You’re under arrest! Read him his rights.
Jumba: Listen carefully.
[Jumba slams Stitch's head repeatedly against a palm tree. A shocked Nani sees Jumba and Pleakley arrest Stitch.]
Pleakley: Hello? Galactic Command? Experiment 6-2-6 is in custody. We’ll wait right here.
Jumba: Huh?
Pleakley: Don’t interact with her.
[They turn their backs on Nani.]
Nani: Where’s Lilo?
Jumba: Who? [Pleakley hits Jumba] What?
Nani: Lilo. My sister.
Jumba: Uh, sorry, we do not know anyone by this, uh…
Nani: Lilo! She's a little girl this big, she has black hair and brown eyes and she hangs around with that THING!
Jumba: [sighs] We know her.
Nani: Bring... her... back.
Pleakley: Oh, we can’t do that. Uh-uh. That would be a misuse of Galactic resources.
Jumba: See, problem is… we’re just here for him.
Nani: So she’s gone?
Pleakley: Look at the bright side. You won’t have to yell at anyone anymore.
[Nani breaks down.]
Jumba: Come.
[Stitch begins to walk away, but stops and walks over to Nani.]
Stitch: O’hana.
Nani: Huh?
Jumba: Hey! Get away from her.
Nani: No! What did you say?
Stitch: O’hana means family. Family means…
Nani: …nobody gets left behind.
Stitch: Or forgotten. Yeah. Hey…
Jumba: What?! After all you put me through you expect me to help you just like that?! Just like that?!
Stitch: Ih. ("Yes")
Jumba: Fine.
Pleakley: Fine? You’re doing what he says?
Jumba: Uh, he’s very persuasive.
Pleakley: Persuasive?! What exactly are we doing?
Jumba: Rescue.
Nani: We’re going to get Lilo?
Stitch: Ih.
Pleakley: Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and insanity to my list of things I did today.
Jumba: You, too?
Stitch: Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Jumba: What? Did you think we walked here?
Gantu: This is Gantu, requesting hyperspace clearance.
Computer: Stand by for clearance. Clearance is granted on vector C-12.
Gantu: Connect me to the Grand Councilwoman.
Grand Councilwoman: Gantu, what’s going on?
Gantu: I thought you’d like to know that the little abomination is… is…
Grand Councilwoman: Yes, Captain?
Gantu: I’ll call you back. How did you get out of there?
Nani: So what exactly are we doing?
Jumba: Don’t worry, is all part of plan. We are professionals. Hey! Get that out of your mouth! Hold on! Okay, is show time! This is it!
Stitch: Go! Go! Go!
Gantu: Little savage! Get off my ship!
Lilo: Stitch!
Gantu: Computer, locate Experiment 6-2-6.
Computer: 626 located.
Gantu: We finish this now.
Jumba: Stitch is unconscious.
Nani: What do we do now?
Jumba: We stay close. Hope for a miracle. That’s all we can do.
Gantu: NOW!
Lilo: Don’t leave me, okay?
Stitch: Okay. Okay. Okay.
Computer: Target 6-2-6 is in motion. Speed is 84.
Gantu: Impossible!
[His ship flies down to the Volcano National Park, it cuts to the location in this movie. Stitch drives the tanker truck, it breaks the sign. The tanker truck flies in the air and lands, it leaves a fire trail; referencing those are made by Back to the Future.]
Lilo: Stitch!
Stitch: Hmm?
[Captain Gantu closes in on Stitch, who is on top of a tanker truck he drove into a volcano.]
Gantu: Abomination.
Stitch: Stupidhead. [He rips open the tanker, spilling gasoline into the magma; the resulting explosion launches him towards Gantu's ship] YEEEEEHAW!!! [Crashes through the windshield into the cockpit] ALOHA! [Laughs]
Gantu: [Furiously trying to pound Stitch with his fist] You're VILE! You're FOUL! You're FLAWED!
Stitch: [Grabs Gantu's hand...] Also cute and FLUFFY! [...and throws him through the windshield onto the wing of Jumba's ship below]
Lilo: You came back.
Stitch: Nobody gets left behind.
Nani: Lilo!
Lilo: Good dog.
David: Auwe!
Lilo: David!
David: Hey, Lilo.
Lilo: Can you give us a ride to shore?
David: Uh… Sure! But I have to make two trips. So you’re from outer space, huh? I heard the surfing’s choice.
Security Alien: We have 6-2-6.
Grand Councilwoman: Take him to my ship.
Lilo: Leave him alone.
Cobra Bubbles: Hold on.
Gantu: Grand Councilwoman, let me explain.
Grand Councilwoman: Silence! I am retiring you, Captain Gantu.
[Gantu is shocked at the dismissal.]
Pleakley: Actually, credit for the capture goes to…
Grand Councilwoman: Goes to me. You’ll be lucky if you end up on a Fluff Trog farm after we sort this thing out.
Jumba: Uh… I think I should…
Grand Councilwoman: YOU?! YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS! If it wasn't for your Experiment 6-2-6, none of this-
Stitch: [interrupting] Stitch!
Grand Councilwoman: What?
Stitch: My name Stitch.
Grand Councilwoman: Stitch, then. If it wasn't for Stitch- [realizes what just happened, turns back to Stitch]
Stitch: Does Stitch have to go in the ship?
Grand Councilwoman: [shocked, hesitant] ...Yes.
Stitch: Can Stitch say goodbye?
Grand Councilwoman: Yes.
Stitch: Thank you. [walks over to Nani and Lilo]
Grand Councilwoman: [looks at Nani and Lilo] Who are you?
Stitch: This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.
Pleakley: Does he really have to go?
Grand Councilwoman: You know as well as I that our laws are absolute. I cannot change what the Council has decided.
Cobra Bubbles: [whispering] Lilo. Didn't you find that thing at a shelter?
Lilo: Hey! Three days ago, I bought Stitch at the shelter. I paid two dollars for him. See this stamp? I own him. If you take him, you're stealing.
Cobra Bubbles: Aliens are all about rules.
Great Councilwoman: You look familiar.
Cobra Bubbles: CIA. Roswell. 1973.
Great Councilwoman: Ah, yes. You had hair then. Take note of this. This creature has been sentenced to life in exile a sentence that shall be henceforth served out here… on Earth… and as caretaker of the alien life-form, Stitch, this family is now under the official protection of the United Galactic Federation. We’ll be checking in now and then.
Cobra Bubbles: I was afraid you were going to say that. This won’t be easy to explain back at headquarters.
Grand Councilwoman: I know what you mean. Don’t let those two get on my ship.
Nani: CIA?
Cobra Bubbles: Former. Saved the planet once. Convinced an alien race that mosquitoes were an endangered species. Now, about your house…
[We cut to Stitch playing the guitar and he notices something]
Stitch: Wait.